Drop the ‘Filipino shame’
Filipinos proudly say “It’s more fun in the Philippines!” But little does the rest of the world know that in a country full of smiles, the culture of shaming has become an influenza that slowly but surely creeps and kills our reputation as people with good hearts and positive attitude.
While Filipinos are known for their hospitality, their filial piety, and other good traits, they are also flawed like the rest. Filipino people tend to deem shaming as “normal”, may it be intentional or unintentional, because they do not seem to see anything wrong with it.
The Filipino people seem to use shaming as an escape from the humiliation they experience for the mistakes they have done, absentmindedly showing how unreasonable they can be.
In situations where they feel like their pride is being “stepped on,” it is probable that Filipinos would shield themselves from criticisms by shaming other people.
Take smart shaming as an example. In daily conversations, if a Filipino speaks differently about a subject and the person he or she is talking to lacks knowledge or understanding of it, one may receive remarks like: “Ang dami mong alam!” (You’re such a know-it-all!) or “Sige ako na 'yung bobo. Ikaw na yung matalino.” (Fine, I’m the idiot and you’re the smart one.) Why not educate rather than degrade?
Shaming also happens when people see things that they think are aesthetically challenged and not in accordance with the high standards of their judgmental eyes. They become too blinded by the things that are currently in trend, which leads to making nothing but pure judgments and criticisms.
In line with this faulty norm is body shaming. The stereotype of sexy for the Filipino people is having the “perfect” body – small arms, thin legs, flat stomach, small waist line and perfect curvatures for women, while broad shoulders, chiseled muscles, and 6-pack abs for men; if a person does not have these qualities, the automatic mindset of the Filipino society is to downgrade and discriminate.
Of course, gender shaming is not an exception. Filipino men who are emotional get comments like, “Ang hina mo naman para kang babae.” (You’re so weak like a girl!) while Filipino women who like to keep their hair short would receive remarks like, “Bakit ganyan yung gupit mo? Lalake ka ba?” (Why is your haircut like that? Are you a guy?)
In reality, such statements actually do not help the well-being of people, but rather, only makes it worse. As time passes, this culture of shaming in the Philippines is becoming more evident as more Filipinos allow themselves to succumb in its influence.
Acceptance is the key to stop this influenza from spreading. Even if their great pride often prevents them from committing to their mistakes, they should learn how to accept the fact that people make mistakes. Filipinos should learn how to embrace differences and accept that people are entitled to their own opinions.